Somedays...

Some days I think to myself, if I just get that pile of laundry caught up, I will have some free time. I will be able to work on the scrapbooks and maybe have a minute to myself. Then suddenly I decide that since we have no milk OR Diet Coke that I must go to the grocery store so I leave the big girls at home with their Dad and head that way and then when I come home, my family is no longer going to starve, but that house that only needed the laundry put away now looks like a tag team of preschoolers has spent time unsupervised ramsacking my house as quickly as possible... because they did all while their Dad sat in the basement watching television paying no attention to what was going on upstairs.... Oh the joy of parenting. I have come to the realization there is no catching up. This indeed is my new real life. Someday I will be sad that I have a clean house and I will be able to do all the scrapbooks I want.... but first I have to remember to take the pictures.
Other days I am in plain survival mode. Like days when I have agreed to watch my bff two kids in addition to my three and the night before I am awoken three times in six hours by the baby, one time by a screaming sleep talking husband and once by a five year old who has peed the bed..... those days don't produce much more than three meals a bath for the Mama and diapers that must be changed...unless said Mama runs out of Diet Coke, then it will also entail a trip to the grocery store because everybody knows a Mama without Diet Coke is one grouchy lady!

Today, I took away the toys

Lately, I have been overwhelmed by stuff. Stuff is everywhere in my house. There is not one single room in my entire house, including my own bedrrom that does not have my childrens shit all over it. I spend all of my time cleaning up their stuff, meanwhile they beg me to play out front, go on walks, read them books, etc. Unfortunately we dont get to do those things often enough because what little time we are at home, I am spending picking up their stuff... So stuff no more... I packed it all up, put it in the basement, and they will not be getting it back. I want to spend my kids childhood having fun. NOT picking up stuff... it could be an interesting time, as we are pretty hung up on stuff, but hopefully we can stick with our guns of cleaning out the house and clear our minds of stuff!!

Today, I Will Stop...

Today reality hit me smack in the face. As I was bathing Reese, I realized she had a substantial bruise on her thigh. I immediately asked what the bruise was from, and then it dawned on me, I may have done it to her. You see, Reese is a strong-willed stubborn girl, and I am well, a short-fused, tired Mama. Every once in awhile I lose my shit, and well a spanking happens. The other morning she was throwing a fit about what she was going to wear, refusing to get anything on because she insisted the only thing she was going to wear was the dress that Nora already had on. In a hurry to get her ready for school I lost my patience and spanked her... No longer will I spank, no longer will I yell. I will instead remember they are three. They are five, they are four months old... young, innocent children just trying to find their way in the world. The world will hurt them badly enough, I need not hurt them also, even if they won't get their clothes on.

Stop While You Are Ahead....

If anybody would have told me that having another child after Nora would change our world and make it never, ever be the same, I would have not believed them. Life was SO easy with Nora. Just Nora. We were a picture perfect family. We could go places, have control over our child, receive compliments about how cute our child was, etc. Fast forward two years and like most parents, our second child came. We didn't really think about not having more children. Having an only child never crossed either of our minds. In my mind, every child needs a sibling. As soon as Reese was born, I knew life was not ever going to be the same. She proved to be the pistol that she is before leaving the hospital and shortly after bringing her home, Nora proved that life as a big sister would take my sweet innocent two year old and make her a completely different child. As Reese grew, we continued to realize Reese was a rule breaker, Nora a rule follower, but both just as stubborn as the other. While Nora is for the most part a  people pleaser, her sister, Reese is the complete opposite. People pleasing is not her game, instead pure intentional defiance is. Fear is something we struggle with Nora on a daily basis. She is scared of the dark, getting sick, thunderstorms, etc. Reese on the other hand has NO fear... whatsoever and is a  complete daredevil. Think, climbing the outside of a stairway banister that is 20 ft in the air... and when caught doing this, stating, "but I am not to the top, yet".
Fast forward three years later, and the real craziness begins... for whatever reason, we thought it was a good idea to have ANOTHER baby. Three babies in five years... all girls. Hmm...
So life became REALLY interesting... really.really.interesting. Suddenly, life became crazy. My kids seemed to have lost their ears, their feet became much faster and going places became nearly impossible. All of the sudden my homebody self began begging my husband who is just as much a homebody to call his Mom and see if she could watch the girls every.single.weekend. My motivation was to ensure that the baby would indeed take a bottle because all be damned if I had to experience that again. One time was ENOUGH. I also had goals of passing said baby off to whoever wanted to hold her because I also did not want another baby sling leach... after a giant chiropractor bill I vow to never wear a baby 9 months PAST carrying her in my stomach. So yeah, this is my life. Mama of three girls, two that do not listen and one who sleeps more during the day than the night, eats constantly from my boob, poops in her cloth diapers because apparently she is allergic to the disposable diapers and cries mainly when she is trying to poop. Oh said child also probably thinks her carseat is her home because the poor girl is constantly being toted around from one activity to the next of her big sisters... good thing she likes her carseat that I may have forgotten to buckle before leaving the house to go to Nora's school, Buy Buy Baby and swimming lessons before realizing she was not buckled. How the kid didn't end up on the ground is some sort of miracle. Thank you God!  Then there is the Buy Buy Baby trip in and of itself. I was there to buy more of the fancy cloth diapers. I thought, hey, it wont be bad to take the three girls there... we can run in really quick, grab the diapers and go... no big deal... but then we got there and the girls quickly reminded me that they had cozy coupes to drive for the kids... and you better believe they were going to drive them, so Nora in her truck, Reese in her push car, and Evie in the cart, I lead the pack pushing Evie in a cart while pulling Reese backwards on her car, followed by Nora driving the truck. We had to look RIDICULOUS... I like to think however that I must have looked like super mom... at least for the first half of the trip around the store. I sure hope nobody inside watched us walk in because I may or may not have been the one month postpartum mom chasing two kids running different directions in the parking lot while carrying their sister in an infant carrier while she was NOT buckled up hollering at them to freeze... Yep this indeed did happen. Do you think they cared that they scared the heck out of me. NOPE. After lecturing them about this, guess what happened when we left the store? Kids ran out the door attempting to do the same.damn.thing. WTF? So what do I do, repeat the lecture on the car ride to gymnastics.  Thankfully the walk into gymnastics went well, however, they must have short term memory loss because the walk out was only spared of the same behavior by Nora's soccer coach who just so happened to be coming in the doors that my kids were attempting to head out of completely oblivious to the fact that their mother was no where in sight... I swear once upon a time I had control over them. But now, yeah, not the case...
So we arrive home. I told them I would be pulling the double stroller out for all future outings (mind you they are 3 and 5 and havent ridden in a stroller in over a year) and they begged and pleaded for me to please not do this... they promised that tomorrow they would be good... Not today. Tomorrow. Because as Nora said "today was already almost over".  Shortly after this, I began trying to get things taken care of. I fed them dinner, got things situated changed their sisters cloth diaper and she began crying. Suddenly she stopped and just like that before I even knew what was happening projectile vomit was everywhere, she was smiling and my shoulder was christened with baby puke... Like any third time mom would do, I stripped her naked and used her clothes to clean her face off and then wiped the puke off of my shoulder. Did I change my clothes, HECK NO... did I find clothes for her. Nope. They were upstairs and I was not getting up... instead I bundled her in her blanket, patted her little butt and with a big big sign reminded myself, "I signed up for this". So despite the fact that it was a doozy of a day, and I have NO idea how to regain control of my children, I am going to smile and move on. Maybe after I pull out that big stroller life will be easier... then again, maybe not.